Week of February 27th 2012

MT - Worked the orange sash combos with Mike P.
mitts 1,2,1,2,step, 2, sweep w/ left leg, 2 left knees
1,2,1,2,slip, step left, 3, chopping right leg to top of knee, 2 right knees
pads hard shots
1,2,5,2, 3x lft kick, check, 2x left kick (teep for fun)
1,2,5,2,3, 3x rt kick, check, 2x rt kick (teep)

Overheard my coach (Paul) discussing with big Mike how I was improving. I wasn't paying close attention to them, but it sounded like favorable comments. Something about "It's the engineer in him, trying to perfect every move..." something like that. Made my happy that I've stuck with it.

BJJ - Bottom side control - if you can't get a knee in for recomposing, get underhook on near side, get to side, grab single leg, get to knees, get double if you can, drive for takedown, pass to side control.

top side control - if you feel bottom guy going for above pass, switch base to face his hips, keep bottom leg against his hips, move arm to over body to pin hips on that side, look for kimura or straight arm bar, or reset to side control.

guard pass - pin arm on mat, drop head to either arm pit, push pinned arm under hips and grab with other hand under hips. Posture and stand, contorting opponent. Use free hand to pop open guard, retain hand and do a knee slide pass as you come down

Thursday BJJ:
Man, I did NOT want to train yesterday. Beat up and sore from the other days of training. I wanted to leave about 1/2 way through the drilling. I stuck it out and this morning I'm stoked that I went.

worked basic kimuras

straight arm bars - dive your far arm deep under armpit as you bring your body/head to the attacked arm, pinch arm between shoulder and head as you clasp hands and straighten arm. Hip escape to get far knee heavy on his head/shoulder. Find the elbow joint and attack

setup for 4x attack (4 that I know) - grab wrist, tug it down to mat or stuff it under your hips while bringing that foot onto hip, locking arm down. Put other knee inside other arm. Hip escape and get 'other knee' leg out and over to lock a triangle guard. Option exists for kimura, straight arm lock, triangle, omaplata, regular arm bar, and on...

Standing guard pass - If his feet are on your hips, get a cross grip on the outside of his ankle, step back and throw leg across body, don't drop leg, collapse into side control.


We got a new 2 stripe white belt. He's been going on and off for a year, bjj only. I was glad to see I could nullify most of his attacks, and I passed his guard a few times. One time very deliberately. I imposed my game on him. It's cool to see someone from a different school with a different game. I took his back, took mount, and did pretty well getting into positions. He likes to work chokes, which is nice, since we seem to mostly work joint locks and chokes that work NoGi as well. This is a result of our coaches being MMA guys, so they tend to teach useful moves for their game. Which I really like actually, since this is sort of where this is all headed for me. I rolled hard, got tapped a bunch, nullified a bunch of passes, kept active. I think I did well even though I probably came out on the losing end most of the time. I gave up a good deep arm in guillotine after Jr. pulled and struggled. I just sort of got frustrated, and should have gutted it out and kept fishing for it. I also missed an omaplata off of a triangle that big Mike was defending by burying his arm around my waist. That won't happen again... I was sitting there, looking at his arm wrapped around me and remember thinking... "I KNOW there's something I can do from here, but I can't remember what it is..." Oh well. Good training...

Thursday was another great day of jits. Drilled for a while, then we worked open guard drilling. I was able to get an arm triangle, a near arm bar from knee on belly (this one is good...), and some other stuff. Jeff is back and it's good to see him.

Had to cancel with Conwict for some training tomorrow, hopefully we can get together Sunday and work some SIRT stuff. Will add more on Thursday for next BJJ class.

Ran 3 miles friday w/ dogs. Running is getting easier... :)

Style and the 'Gun Guy'

It has been an interesting last few months. I have had a lot of personal growth in a short time. One of the things that has occurred to me recently is my appearance. I rarely gave it thought in the past, but recently it's been on my mind more and more.

The last place you think you'll learn about style is at a shooting class. Gun guys are notoriously bad dressers. From the 'shoot me first' 5.11 vests, to the 'full diaper' tactical pants. A size medium guy wearing XL shirts to conceal his kit... It's just bad.

However, SouthNarc, in addition to being the best trainer I've ever met, is also a fashion-savvy dude. He said some very interesting things in during dinner. The one that sticks out in my mind is, "if you have a dominating physical presence in a room, AND you are dressed better than any other man in that room, you can just intimidate the hell out of guys." Also, he made me laugh with "this is a coyote-tan free zone". Wearing clothes that compliment my build as well as look sharp... That's one of my goals for this year.

NOPE

I have NO style. I spent the bulk of my 20's wearing free t-shirts I got when I worked at a supplement store. So I was wearing misfitted t-shirts, and cargo shorts for like 5 years. Add being overweight to that, and the recipe is for lame-looks. I'm actually pretty lucky my wife decided to marry me, now that I think about it. When I was overweight, I didn't much care how I looked. Now that I'm at 180lbs, I feel it is my duty to wear clothes that fit me. I want to be a nice piece of arm candy for my wife. I also want to carry my tools.

One of the cool things about gaining the competence in empty hand fighting, increased skill in shooting, and developing better tactical thinking is that I feel comfortable with fewer tools. I feel fine carrying my Kel-Tec PF9, my P'Kal, and a small flashlight. If the setting demanded it, I'd go for less. My pt-22 in a deep concealment rig would be fine. As my friend Claude says, "competence breeds confidence".

So, as I am want to do, I'm developing a plan to incrementally replace my clothes with better fitting, more stylish clothes. The first step in this is researching the subject. My new haunts are:
http://www.styleforum.net/
and
http://artofmanliness.com/

http://www.atailoredsuit.com/mens-style-guide-tailored-suit.html

http://artofmanliness.com/2010/08/12/mans-guide-change-appearance/
http://www.atailoredsuit.com/good-mens-dress-shoes-(a).html
http://www.atailoredsuit.com/mens-shirt-detail.html
http://www.atailoredsuit.com/mens-suit-detail.html


I'm going to start looking for a watch, a few pairs of pants, and a few shirts, and some shoes that will be my baseline wardrobe. A jumping off point...

I'll post updates as things develop.

Weekend 24-26th

Friday I got a 2 mile run and about 30 pullups in.

Saturday I installed a 3.5# connector and NY1 trigger spring in my g19. The reset is SO positive now. I look forward to shooting with it. Trigger press feels a bit heavier, but I'm fine with that. It snaps back to reset. Plus the bonus of knowing that if the trigger spring breaks, the gun won't require manual resetting of the trigger. The compression geometry of the NY1 assures this, while the standard one is put into tension.

Why?

I have no delusions that I'm a 'hard man' or that I'm a physical specimen or a gifted shooter. I don't think I have a great handle on nutrition or diet or lifting. I'm not a subject matter expert in anything really. I'm just a dude with goals. I'm on the upward slope in achieving them. It's exciting because I realize just how much I don't know. It's daunting because the holes in my game are large, but at least I'm aware of (some of) them. I really try to step outside of myself and look back. Checking to see if I'm letting pride, fear, or some mental block get in the way of something that is truly good for me.

It's amazing what reading some philosophy and paying attention to what you're feeling will do for you. I asked myself a simple question over the weekend, right before I put on a padded helmet and got in a gunfight in the rain and mud, at night. I asked "why?" Why the shit do I like this? Why did I show up? What makes me train with (what I consider to be) focus and intensity? What has changed in me over the last 5 years?

Well, the most obvious reason is that I enjoy it. Sure I have days where I'd rather drink beer and play video games. Instead I show up and do the work. But I choose these hobbies and outlets because I enjoy them and I think they are important skills to have in this world. That parlays in to the next reason... I fought hard to remain alive, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let some piece of scum take that away from me cheaply. But those are the obvious ones. The others take some inward focus.

The guys I look up to and want to impress are supermen. Dudes with seemingly unlimited strengths and skill-sets, who are well read, and fun to talk to. They are my life goal markers. To be a subject matter expert in many subjects is a goal I think everyone should aspire to. I have basically picked my supermen for all the aspects of my life, including relationships, intellect, fighting, shooting, and several others. I'm just scrambling to feel 'good enough' to talk among them. Now that I think of it, I may have a pretty solid inferiority complex... Trying to prove to myself that I'm good enough might be a part of it too.

I think it's also partially a want to be revered by my peers. It is a selfish thing, but it feels good when people say "man, you're doing great!" I got my first taste of that when someone in a class found out I was sick with the big C and taking a pistol class. They would tell me how much of a warrior I was, and so on. It felt good, but it also felt like I was trying to wring sympathy out of my personal bullshit. It's probably a bit of a crutch of mine. A sympathy getter. I try to not bring that up anymore, and try to let my hard work and dedication to my arts speak for me. Though the changes in my outlook that being sick gave me have permanently changed how I do business.

I'm going to die. I have a very very high awareness of this. I don't know if I'm out of the woods from cancer in my life. As a matter of fact, I have a nearly constant (but fading) tapping on my shoulder about this. I feel like the other foot is always about to drop, and I'll get a checkup and something will be wrong. This makes my outlook very time compressed. If I check out in 5 years, will I feel accomplished? I'm trying to do what I can do so that is the case. I'm jamming as much experience into as short a time as possible. I'm racing a sand timer, and I can't see the top half of it. Either I'll check out soon and feel like I didn't squander it, or I'll live to be 85 and have done more in my life than three men. I'm OK with both of those, but would prefer the later.

That's all the reasons that I can think of for now. I'll add more if I come up with any.

My Year in Review 2011

Here is the summary of 2011 for me.

What did I do in 2011:
My original goals from Oct 2010
Continue my dry fire/airsoft home training to keep sharp on gun handling
-Continue sparring and training with my home boxing group
-Continue shooting IDPA to maintain skillset and keep myself honest
-Continue following the exercise and diet suggestions from here and elsewhere
-CMD seminar with Cecil in December 2010
-Take ECQC 1/2 in March
-Take Tactical Response's 'The Fight'
-Join BJJ gym early in ‘11 when we pay our CC’s off.
-Take gunshot wound trauma course

So I met all my goals for 2010. All too easy... :P

What I did that I didn’t expect to do:
-lost 50 lbs (4 hour body, then Eat/Stop/Eat method), I’ll spare you the photos...  I’m between 175 and 180 right now, have been maintaining this weight.
-enter a BJJ competition (and won my weight class!)
-begin assisting a local trainer with his ATL firearms courses.

What are my reevaluated strengths after this year?
1)Mindset
2)fitness
3)empty hands
4)pistol
5)tactics
6)deescalation

realizations:
The more physical pursuits (especially those which put me against another person) caused me to look into myself for truths about my character and personal development. I realized (actually confirmed) I really don’t like competition. I don’t like to lose. I don’t like to put my ego and pride on the line. I fear injury and pain. The BJJ tournament was HARD to enter because of this. I get upset if I lose a board game for christ’s sake. I feel fear when I am about to spar or roll in class. I find myself not wanting to follow through and exert my force on another person. I’m still trying to figure out if I am afraid of hurting the other person, or if I don’t care about winning enough to get worked up and power through. In BJJ specifically, I find I roll passively. Trying to pull the technique off cleanly instead of muscling through. However, my training partners tend to just flatten me out. I’ll try to make a concerted effort to amp up aggression in a controlled way.

I realize that I’m over the idea of weight lifting for the purpose of ‘bigger muscles’. That is a waste of time for me. Lifting to be a better fighter, more able to deliver power and force, on-demand, are my only needs when it comes to weights. I don’t believe I’ll do another biceps curl in the near future. To quote my bro MattMan.. I’m working on “ getting everything out of each pound I weigh”. Compound heavy  lifts are what I’ll use barbells for. When I look in the mirror, I feel like THIS is what I am supposed to look like. In my late 20’s I feel like comfortable with my body. It’s a big deal to me, and it’s not a feeling I ever got from trying to put a bunch of muscle on.

I realized that surrounding myself with people who are like minded and supportive HELP. Facebook has played a huge part in this for me. I’m very much a self starter, but seeing someone who gives a quick “keep it up” really boosts my drive and keeps me going. The ATL training group has also done a lot to help me keep motivated. Public scrutiny and accountability go a LONG way in keeping ME on track.

Making a small wager increased the chance of me sticking with a goal.

People can and WILL try to derail your progress. It seems like when people noticed me being successful, they tried to offer me cupcakes and pies to celebrate. Expect the same. I try to distance myself from this as best I can. Bringing people into my frame of mind is the best solution I’ve found. Those that can’t be convinced are to be discarded as much as possible.

I realize that sharing my passions is a way to reinforce my mindset and drive. Instruction and teaching is a good way to do this.

I realize that if I want to be awesome, I have to surround myself with MMA and shooting studs and leech their cool. I’m never sure if I’m cool, or if I only do the hobbies that cool dudes do. This really is something that I’ve thought about... *dunno*

What am I wasting my time on? Primarily, my biggest time sync that provide me little benefit is my animals.. I spend a lot of time on them. Oh, that and my job... Pity a job has to get in the way of your passions.

On with the future plan...

What do I want to do in 2012:
 [LIST]  [*] run a 5 or 10k - Why? Since I always feared running and figured I’m not ‘built’ for running. The fact is, I was too fat and out of shape to run. no mas.
[*]Begin 8 week blocks alternating between either running or weights. 2- 1 hour a week sessions.
[*]touch pistol (or sirt) at least 2x a week for 10 minutes with a regimented dry fire session. I still don’t have the time to make it to the range regularly.
[*]Shoot at least 4 IDPA matches. The time pressure is invaluable.
[*]enter a Muay Thai tournament. Even if it’s just an intra-gym tournament, I’ll be happy.
[*]enter at least 2 bjj tournys. Grappling is most complex part of the game I’m trying to play, and tournaments are like compressed training time. Compete.
[*]train more wrestling/takedowns and an integrated MMA game.
[*]continue bjj/mt (duh), and start taking daily notes about training. A log of techniques would be very helpful.
[*]Orchestrate and train with the training group more regularly.
[*]Take ECQC again to see where my game needs improvement
[*]Take AMIS (may be in 2012)
[*]Train with Tactical Response (maybe an hrcc?)
[*]READ for at least 2 hours a week. This can be on the shitter or a dedicated time. Read things to exercise the mind and gain insight into the history of what I’m doing.
 [*]Begin doing something related to ‘art’. At least 2 hours a month. Whether it’s writing or taking photos. The samurai understood the need for balance between martial arts and regular art and I’m afraid I’m not balancing myself. Hopefully it will keep me from burning out.[/LIST]



Let me know what you think, and please go through the exercise of doing this for yourself. It’s very helpful. Lists get stuff done.

Reading List

I'm currently reading a few books recommended to me by my buddy K.C.

One is http://jim.com/treason.htm

The other is The True Believer.

I'm really developing a love for political philosophy, and philosophy in general. I used to shun these topics as silly wastes of time. They probably are, as life is too short to waste on spending one's mental energy thinking about how things are. I'm deep into True Believer right now. It's a quick read, but a worthwhile one. Looking at what prerequisites there are for the development of mass movements or a lack thereof. All of the things he mentions have occurred to me in the past. Likening religion to fascism is extremely accurate as I think anyone with a shred of observational skills and the ability to step out of their societal brainwashing can see.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to more like this.

I need to ramp up my reading if I'm going to keep my 2012 plan to read more.

week of 2/20/2012

MT: worked 1,2,1,2 s, s
1,2,3,b,w
10 punch, s,s,b,w,evade back, 2

1,2,2 lt kicks, block forward, 2 rt knees
1,2,3, 2 rt kicks, block, 2 lft knees

BJJ:
arm bars, both technical, and swivel hip variations
sneaky variation: to attack his right arm, plant left foot by his hip to keep pinned, use right leg to break posture towards you and to left. As he falls to your left, bring left foot from mat over head to armbar. Don't telegraph that you're going to attack that arm by doing obvious grips on it.
hip bump sweep off of kimura, then added opponent sprawl to hip out and recompose guard
triangle from knee on bicep, foot on hip.

Getting a bit of a puffy and sore ear. Ordered some headgear to protect my ears until they heal.

BJJ: (thursday)
arm bars from mount - apply pressure from mount, wait for push plant hands on chest, lift hips, swing leg around and finish
arm bar from mount 2 - get deep collar hold, wait for defense, trap arm and press off and finish
collar choke from mount- deep collar hold, post forward w/ off hand, swipe around, grab gi, finish
hip bump as defense for mounted collar choke- timing attach

It was a good day of BJJ. Raph wasn't being the task master he usually is. We drilled moves most of the night, then switched to positional drilling and then 2 rounds  of rolling. Ron is a great training partner and his college wrestling background makes him a crazy good opponent for me to train with. Great pressure and great submissions. Super on top control. I just flail to keep up.