My goal with this entry is to try to lay a framework of how I *THINK* it will work, how I plan to do it, my priorities during the pregnancy, my expectations, and generally working things out. I realize that to all the current fathers, this will probably be laughable, and that my expectations and goals will be unrealistic, and that you'll be able to say "I told you so". But either way, this should be a cool thing to look back at in a year.
Upon hearing the news, I was in disbelief. I was impossible for me to have viable sperm after getting nuked 4 years ago during the stem cell transplant. My wife and I had had many discussions about how "if it happened, it happened", but I wasn't holding out hope for that. I assumed I would continue to live the life of a DINK (dual income no kid) with Sarah until we were in our early 30's. Drop the cash on the procedure, and get her preggo. All very technical and planned. In this case, I'm very glad everything didn't go according to plan. This is going to be good.
I realize my priorities will have to change. I was just getting used to having the health and freedom to train heavily in my hobbies and improve at a pretty rapid pace. I know it's greedy, but I'm going to miss being selfish with my time and disposable income. I have been called selfish and uncaring with how much time I spend on my hobbies and on cultivating friendships. I'm going to try my best to continue my path, while still giving my wife and kid as much support as they could need or want. I'm prepared to be spread thin. I've been through harder times.
I'm feeling scared, and nervous about everything, but I know we'll be ok. I have fears about my health degrading unexpectedly or losing my job or something, but it's all wasted energy. I have to remind myself to focus on the present, and be mindful of the things I want to come to pass. Also, if people can have babies in mud huts and keep them alive, I should be able to figure it out.
My usual obsessive learning phase is kicking in, and I'm going to start reading all the books. This is written before I've read anything about child raising or caring for a mom-to-be, so I'm sure this list will change in the next few weeks as I read.
As far as my list of important things to have happen before the baby comes...
- keep wife healthy
- keep wife happy
- keep baby healthy
- save money and pay off as much debt as possible
- continue to train MT and BJJ
- Don't allow myself to put on baby weight.
The first three I am reading about. I won't speak about them.
The money issue seems like it was divinely planned. Sarah and I will have all of our CC debt paid off in about 1 month. My car will be paid off in 3 months. The only debt we will have when the baby arrives will be student loan payments and mortgage payments. This will help HUGELY. A year ago, we had about $10,000 in CC debt. Tightening my belt, and not being frivolous with money, and having my wife get a raise all helped us power down our debt.
Continue to train. I know this one will be hard. I really hope I can get my blue belt before I have my kid. I'd that will put me at 2 solid years of BJJ. If I'm ready, I'll get it. I know taking a significant amount of time off will really hurt my conditioning and technique. I guess it's just how it is. My long term goal is to continue these sports into the distant future. If in the short term, I can't continue, I'll set up a rad home gym on my side of the garage and run and lift as much as possible. We shall see.
I'll make subsequent entries every few weeks as new things arise. Wish me luck.
No comments:
Post a Comment